


Nights aren't the Same

by oneawkwardcookie



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, post 3x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25687231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie
Summary: Eddie's not the only one with nightmares.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 118





	Nights aren't the Same

Eddie's a father, and a war vet. It's not how he defines himself, thinking himself unworthy of the weight of the words. He knows it’s how the world sees him, what he’s judged against. Tonight, he knows that they're the reason he's awake. They're the reason he notices the nightmares.

At first, he thought that Buck was just a restless sleeper or preferred his own bed, snoozing in short bursts before leaving for some other part of the firehouse. Except, there are other nights when Buck stays in the bunk room after he's wrestled himself awake, breaths sounding heavy even as he tries to muffle them into his pillow. Other nights, he doesn't wake up, but Eddie can hear the shuffling of sheets, of nails scrabbling for purchase, of legs kicking and fighting.

Tonight, he hears his name and he's awake and out of bed before his mind can catch up to his legs. The war in him keeps him alert, but the father in him listens out for his name in the dead of the night and knows how to sooth the nightmares for others.

Buck is sitting up in bed, red faced and panting lightly, and his pupils have almost blotted out the blue of his eyes.

“Buck, are you with me?”

He looks up, eyes still a little wild, at where Eddie is standing over him. Eddie sits gently on the edge of his bed, keeping a careful distance and raising his hands, palms forward, where Buck can see.

“It's alright, you're safe.” Buck’s eyes follow him, a little out of focus, like he’s not quite seeing him yet.

“You're safe,” he repeats back to him, and Eddie remembers that it's his name that Buck had called out, with such plaintive despair.

“I’m here, I’m safe.”

It's Buck's turn to reach out slowly, and Eddie meets him the middle, placing a hand next to where his legs have bunched up. Buck’s hand clasps over his and two fingers reach under his wrist. _He’s checking my pulse_ , Eddie thinks, feeling it ticking upwards out of its sleepy slowness. Buck’s staring at where they’re joined, and his breathing softens.

“You’re alive.” Buck’s voice is hoarse, pitched low and quiet, but Eddie feels it in his chest.

“I’m alive.” It feels wrong to say it out loud, like he’s tempting fate, but somehow, the lateness of the hour and the darkness make the words come out easier, whispered like a secret between them.

“You’re not allowed to die.” Buck’s eyes are blue again as they bore into him, open and pleading. Eddie swallows to try and dislodge the lump in his throat. It doesn’t work, and Buck’s hand is gripping his wrist almost painfully.

“I’ll try not to.” He tries to color his reply with a light humor, but it still comes out dark and honest. He tries not to make it a promise, because he can’t keep it and he can’t make promises he can’t keep.

“I’m here now.” It’s the nearest he can get, the nearest he’ll allow himself. It has to be enough. Buck’s grip loosens and then Eddie is being pulled forward into a bone crushing hug.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come and scream at me on Tumblr @oneawkwardcookie).


End file.
